View From The Top
| Posted in Poems, Suicide, View From The Top | Posted on 12:06 AM
The view from the top
Was scary
And it didn’t make me
Wanna jump at all…
That is what I went there for, though
A bit too much for my taste
It wasn’t death I wanted.
It was comfort.
Was scary
And it didn’t make me
Wanna jump at all…
That is what I went there for, though
Something must have ticked,
For my heart was beating fast
And each time it did,
The sound echoed inside me
But everything else was silent…
For my heart was beating fast
And each time it did,
The sound echoed inside me
But everything else was silent…
A bit too much for my taste
The blood flowed away
From my veins
And an unexpected fear
Of death, overwhelmed me
From my veins
And an unexpected fear
Of death, overwhelmed me
Why?
Wasn’t that what I went there for, in the first place?
Silly me.
Wasn’t that what I went there for, in the first place?
Silly me.
It wasn’t death I wanted.
It was comfort.
I feel the poem could have been blended a little more into the vocab. One advice babe- STOP using short forms like "gonna". . they kill the charm of literature.
Though some paras were OHHHSAAM. and the last line.... sigh.. wow Manta.
:)
Okay. Thanks sis, i'll stop using short forms... and i just sorta casually scribbled this is english class cuz i was too bored. thanks for the criticism, really, thank god you used more than 2 words and mostly monosyllables. :)
Makes me :)
@Harsheeney: Thanks :) [See, I smiled too!]