Nerd(y) Confessions

| Posted in , , , | Posted on 8:53 PM

Disclaimer: Fiction

Hi. I'm a nerd; that is what people call me. I don't know why though. Maybe it's because I love science more than anything in this world. And their brains can't really comprehend the existence of someone as intelligent as me. In fact, I'm a fucking genius. Most of my friends would agree. And as for the others: they won't. Because they aren't my friends and are either too jealous of me or hate me because I'm a fucking genius; and even though these may seem to be identical feelings, they aren't. Why i know this is because i often take up challenges: they make me push myself harder and I end up being a person with more knowledge; plus, i get to rip on the guy who gave me the challenge in the first place. So in one such event when I was offered a rather tempting challenge of learning a little Psychology myself, I took it. Because by then, I already knew enough Physics, Chemistry and Maths to beat a bunch of college grads; and I was only 15 years old. I’m 15 and a half now. And I’ve learnt a little bit of Psychology; enough to know that jealousy and hatred for someone better than yourself aren’t exactly the same. I also learnt how to play the trombone and am still undergoing Greek lessons, but I don’t want to talk about that. That would be like blowing my own trumpet, or tooting my own horn. As a matter of fact, I took an idiom proficiency test when I was 12 too. And I scored a 100 percent. Obviously.

So why then am I doing this? Like I said, I’ve been learning Psychology. And I’ve learnt that if you’re feeling bad or thinking too much about something, writing it down on a piece of paper helps. And that is what I’m doing now. 

There’s this girl in my class. I really like her and I guess I'm infatuated too. And she knows I am. She BLOODY well knows I am. She's too intelligent to NOT know, it's one of the reasons I started liking her in the first place. And yet, it is as if there’s nothing between us; like a mixture of gases is all that surrounds our physical selves. She knows, and yet she does nothing about it. I pine for her to acknowledge me, but she doesn’t. I wish there was a Reciprocal Theorem in life like there is in Maths. Sigh. At times while I'm in class I draw something that looks like this: |. But then I scribble it out and start focusing on whatever is being taught.

It has often occurred to me that everything I'm doing is worthless. Because I'll probably lament her loss more than I'll lament a Physics test I screwed up. But then I shrug off such repelling thoughts by nodding my head left to right ferociously; and besides, me screwing up a Physics test is as impossible as coming up with a contradiction to a Law Of Thermodynamics.

But comparing her to science is like comparing a bucket of gold to a handful of platinum that isn't in your hands. And for someone like me who prefers a handful of platinum INSIDE a bucket of gold, it's all the more saddening. But I did come to my senses eventually. and I realized that if for some girl I was willing to change what I was living for then, well, my moral integrity isn't anything better than a particle in a Bose-Einstein Condensate: I'd have lost my identity and I wouldn't know who I am anymore. Because ultimately, Science is what gives me identity; not some girl I have the hots for. Besides, gold has a higher atomic number(79) than platinum(78). And I'm a fucking genius.


P.S. I feel tons better already. This shit works!

Comments (2)

This. Was. Absolutely. Amazing. NERDY (Y) :D

Thank you, Fizz (Y). :)