The Lesser Valued Friendships

| Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 8:07 PM


The Lesser Valued Friendships

I made friends
With the lonely corridor
On the first floor
At the far end
Of which I would stand
Sometimes and
Watch the others
Walk around everywhere,
Very busily,
And the little
Cuboid of cement
Beside the little kid’s
Computer lab,
Which I used to sit on
And play guitar
And just be
By myself, because
No one would
Come looking for me
I also remember
The green circle table
In the library, almost
Between two shelves
Full of books,
Where I wrote one
Of my longest poems.

I also got to know
The huge tree
Behind the grey school wall:
I stared at it during classes
When I felt bored, and
Its leaves fluttered.
There was also
The brick that peered
From a defaced
In that wall,
And the huge white
That I used to hide
Behind while
Playing hide and seek.
And then the stairs
That led into
And out of
The auditorium –
Both the flights
At different ends –
With a slope
On the other side
From the railings
Of which,
I would slide down
From time to time.
And then the
Steps of the foyer…
There are too many
Of them to recall,
Each a friend of mine,
In some unspoken way.

I am glad
I could cherish
These less acknowledged,
Lesser valued friendships,
For however short
A time, because
I don’t think I’ll ever
Find friends like these

But thanks to
The security guards
Patrolling around
My friends,
If someone like me
Were to find
Themselves in need
Of some quiet space
To be themselves,
Or to sort things out
Inside their head,
My friends
Will not be able
To come to their rescue
As they did for mine.

Now that I am leaving
I do not think
I will be seeing them
For a long time to come.
But if you can get inside
The school gate,
Get past the
Worthless security guards
That roam around,
And see my friends,
Do not hesitate to tell them
I said hi;
I have a feeling
They might
Like to know I was
Thinking about them.


| Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 2:34 AM


  I had to say something. I REALLY had to say something... but I forgot. And I'm in no mood to retrace thoughts, so I'll just let it be.
  I have my Maths pre-board on Monday... and for some reason, I'm not in the mood to revise. Now, usually, Maths is one of the subjects I don't really mind revising, but today's different. This is rather odd. I like Maths, I really do. But I don't feel like it. Probably the fact that I've already gone through the syllabus at least twice or thrice might make an iota of difference, but still it's no excuse, right? Sigh. No maths, please.
  Moving on, I was just thinking about... AH! WAIT! YES! I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I HAD TO SAY!
  Ah. Okay. So.
  Here's the thing... I'm getting a lot of, say, random jazz from people. I mean, I don't really know how else to put it. It pertains more to people behaving awkwardly than anything else, and let's just say I find that sort of behaviour rather 'random' and jazz, if you know much of it, gives more leeway to experimentation with time signatures and sounds somewhat random (think 5/4, for instance, or 7/8!), hence 'random jazz'. And I really like jazz, too!
  Now, people acting awkwardly isn't really a problem because, for the most part, people think I'm weird, which totally justifies their acting weirdly around me. Well, it doesn't exactly, but whatever, it's cool; I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is, say... me going up to the person who's giving me random jazz and asking them, 'Hey, why're you giving me random jazz?' and them replying, 'WHAT? Who told you this is random jazz? It's full on freaking metal, man! Bang your head to it!' That's weird, right?
  But again, it's cool. I'd choose to believe that the fault lies within me, primarily because you don't have to go out hunting for people to blame; it makes things really easy (unless you're obviously not at fault, then it's somewhat different). So what's happening at the moment? Not much. Nothing I can't handle really, but it's just... vague. It's like, I'm standing on my balcony and I see underwear flying in the sky! FREAKIN' FLYING UNDERWEAR. Blue, green, pink, white, redFLYING! 
  Tell me, how do you deal with that? It's not exactly a problem, per se... but seriously, flying underwear? What the fuck, right? Exactly how I feel at the moment. But let's recall a past instance for fun, right?
My friend calls me up when he's drunk, and tells me he's still pissed at me for dating a girl he had a crush on. It's been months since we've broken up, but he chooses this fateful night to call me up, only because he found a bottle of vodka that his friend procured from some shady source. Dainty, I say.
  'I'm still pissed with you for dating her, man. You shouldn't have dated her. I loved her.'
  'Dude, what the fuck? Are you serious? You saw how it ended, right?'
  'Yeah. And I'm very sorry it ended so badly and everything, but I'm still pissed off at you.'
  Following that ramshackle of a conversation, he proceeds to tell me he loves me. (Note at this point that I was conversing with a male friend.) I tell him to save his adulation for a time when I'm also inebriated, so as to be able to reciprocate appropriately (hopefully in the presence of many other females).  

That right there is an example of RANDOM JAZZ, and there's a lot more where that came from. Basically, let me just say that I hate it when people deliberately don't tell me something 'ugly' in attempt to not be rude, and in the process end up being more rude than they'd have initially been had they said it straight-out in the beginning. What is the problem with people being straight forward? Thankfully, I've never had the opportunity to tell another person to stop bugging me because I find them annoying, but I make no qualms about telling another person if I find them to be dumb, or arrogant, or homophobic (a male acquaintance was making too many penis jokes recently.)
  The very best of my friends I believe are the ones who can relentlessly abuse me for doing the wrong things that I've done. A friend of mine called me up recently and told me she hated me because I wasn't talking to her enough, and I appreciate her having done that. I get to hear the same thing about other people only their friends say it to me, which is a little weird. I'm exorbitantly bad at staying in touch, and I'll improve I'm sure, but if any one of my friends hates my guts for something I've done, I'd like it if they come and tell me so that we can sort it out, instead of being whiny little sissies who hold grudges. Oh, which reminds me, one of my friends said he had a grudge against me and I told him to grow the fuck up. He probably still has that grudge he was speaking of.

So here's what you should infer from this post: whatever you feel, just fucking say it. If you think saying it will make things worse, be assured that holding things back will make things worse in the long run.
  And I'm sure I have not done all of the things that I'm asking you to do. I've held back too, I've kept things to myself, I've been a whiny asshole who couldn't confront people. But I'm changing. And I hope you can change too, if you've been any of the things that I've been. Being able to tell people you don't like something that they've done is a nice feeling, very differently satisfying; you don't feel like that when you're bitching about something somebody else's done. 
  There is a friend I made recently... and when we were talking, she said, 'I guess you're someone I can share things with.' Then, for the next few minutes, I explained to her how I could be an asshole sometimes, and that there would be times when she'd want to choke the breath out of me, but that if she trusted me enough, we'd still be friends after all of that. And then I told her that if she were to ever find a fault with anything I had said or done, she should come up to me and tell it to me before telling her friends about it, because it'd make things easier to deal with. That's pretty epic, right?
  Are you secretly laughing at me for being so straightforward with a woman? Don't. She DID come and tell me when I made a mistake (I'm only human) and then I apologized to her and we sorted it out. See? So much better than freaking flying underwear!

But the downside of this is that it can actually have adverse consequences sometimes. For instance, I was speaking with this female and I remember mentioning, 'You're weird; I like you!' which she interpreted as me indirectly telling her that I have a crush on her. I'll save this story for some other, but for now, just know that this matter has been clarified. And with the exact result that I'd hoped for, no less. :)


Did you seriously read all of this? Well, I must say I'm impressed. So here's a little treat for you, a little poem I just scribbled in ballad meter. I'll expand it someday if I want to, but I think I'll get back to Maths, now. :)

Out of Your Hair

Do tell if you would want me to,
I’ll get out of your hair
But without any anger or rue,
I do solemnly swear.

Do tell if you would want me to,
And do tell me if you can,
I’ll surely leave and bid adieu
For I’m no lingering man.

 Thank you for your time. Now I shall go study Maths. Derivatives? Or 3D perhaps. :)

Goodnight, y'all.
Peace out!



Your Callipygian Frame

| Posted in , , , | Posted on 8:47 PM


Your Callipygian Frame

Did I say your callipygian frame,
Could put many women to shame?
Women who have worked hard for years,
On the arcs of their derrières.

Though this praise may be aesthetic,
I will not be apologetic:
The rest of you is just as nice,
And could equally as well, entice.

I just wish you would with your grace,
Leave me stumped with a gaping face—
But would you succeed if you did try?
There's not much that I can judge you by.

And saddening though that may be,
Someday I hope I know more of thee;
Till then timid glances would suffice—
The rest of you is just as nice.

(Though I should not be put to blame,
If found ogling your callipygian frame.)


Cal·li·pyg·ian [kal-uh-pij-ee-uhn] adj: Having beautifully round and well-shaped buttocks.

Now read it again.

Hat tip to Mayank Gulati for making me aware of the existence of such a word.
Thanks, buddy.