The Procastination Postulate

| Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 8:59 PM


   If you've been wasting your time for the past whatever-no.-of-years you've lived, you probably know what it feels like to have wasted a hell lot of time. Or maybe not.
   I'm left with so much to do. And it's just sad because I'm not doing any of the things that I'm supposed to. Instead, I'm blogging
   But I'm left with about half-a-hundred math questions and there's this geography FA that I'm supposed to study for(but I wouldn't, of course). And I have to submit my Bio homework copy and... blah blah yada yada.
   I've procrastinated so much in the past few weeks that I'm pretty sure if I continue like this, I'll end up a fat man with no education or money. But I just might have cool guitar techniques but that's still a big 'maybe'. 
   I'm left with so many stories and poems and everything too. I've procrastinated so much I've written just ONE single decent story in the month of January. Dammit, man. Procrastination sucks ass. I could've done better. :(
   So, anyway, what's the point of this post?
   Does everything you do have a purpose...?
   Come to think about it, why do we even live? What's the purpose of that? We live to do what? Get good grades? Earn shitloads of cash? Feel freaking elated when we're done with all our left over work? Eh?
   Well, who knows about that. Seriously. Nobody knows. Nobody cares.
   I could swear I know people who say they live their lives to the fullest but don't know why they live it in the first place.
   I'm not one of them. I don't live my life to the fullest. 
   I don't study as much as I should, or play football as much as I should. Or even write songs or stories as much as I should. I just procrastinate more than I should. More than anyone should. Haha. How lame. 
   Anyway, the post is called Procrastination Postulate, right?
   Well, what is the Procrastination Postulate?
   Consider it my first postulate, if not a theory or anything.

The Procrastination Postulate
The Procrastination Postulate states that if a human being starts procrastinating i.e wasting time for an indefinite period, the human being shall forever end up in the infinite loop of pointless iteration. Unless of course, the said individual has tremendous will power and other seemingly significant qualities that an individual need not possess to get through life.

  Was it only me or did you get the fact the last line written in the postulate is a joke? A rather lame one at that. But still...
  My first Postulate! :D
  I shall post more as they come to me! :D
  Stoked are we? Neh, guess not. :/
  Time for a random joke before I end this post!
  I said it to somebody and it's still haunting me somehow. 
  "Somebody teach that kid to draw a line! He's definitely lost his geometrical instruments if not his brain!"  XD!!!
   I can be nonsensical at times. Period.


| Posted in , , , | Posted on 8:55 PM


You wake up everyday.
Confused at times. Sleepy at others.

You believe in living life, one step at a time.

You feel bad for those who don't have what they should.
You feel bad for yourself too,
Even though you know you have everything you deserve.

You have friends. Fake and real.
You know who hates you and loves you too.

You have a family; people you can relate to.
You consider yourself lucky.

You curse yourself for having the one thing nobody else does.
Even though you know you wanted it as much as them.

You try to please everyone; make everybody happy.
You fail.

You cry when you don't get things.
You don't smile when you do.

You don't try hard to be the hero.
Yet you wouldn't mind being one.

You try to understand people.
You succeed at times; fail at others.

You don't feel you know everything.
You agree to those who feel they do. 

You have a spectrum of emotions.
You hide them all.

You have a deep understanding of this world.
You think you don't. You think right.

You feel you can change this world.
You wish that were true. It is.

You can howl at every little thing.
You know you want to.
Yet, you keep mum.

You want to breakout of the cycle of life.
And live every moment like it were your last.
You kid yourself.

You look at the sky like you want to reach there.
You know you will. If you try. 
You don't.

You always manage to tell yourself things...

If you're a dancer, the world is your stage...
If you're a painter, the world is your canvas...
If you're a musician, the world is your instrument... 

And you know it's all bullshit.
You don't ever have much fun as you want to.
You are never any more hurt than you'd want to be.

You're average, you feel.
Wrong, yet again.

Your life isn't as good as you'd want it to be.
But it is, yours.

Only yours.


IITJEE Coaching - Entrance Tests, Scholarships, et al

| Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 9:40 PM


   When tenth grade is drawing to a close, and you happen to be an aspiring engineer(or a forced-into-aspiring engineer), you'll find yourself taking the scholarship tests of various IITJEE coaching centres, or whatever it is that they are called.
   Selecting which centre to opt for the next two years is almost like selecting which school to enroll in. Only this time, peeing in your pants wouldn't be an acceptable innocent childhood act. 
    I'm pretty sure that by the end of the ninth grade I hated most living engineers and wanted to be a humanities student. Something happened. And now I'm thinking I should read more about vectors. Something definitely happened...

Brilliant Tutorials!

Projected National Rank: AROUND 30000
Achievement: ABOVE AVERAGE
Analytical Ability: ABOVE AVERAGE

   If I tell you now that I hadn't studied for the test and hence didn't get marks up to my expectations, I wouldn't be lying to you.
   I didn't study for the test really -  that's the true part.
   I didn't get marks up to my expectations - this was the first all objective test I took that had negative marking. So when I'd ended up with 100-something out of 300-something, I was plenty surprised. And pissed.
   But then the guys at Brilliant told me through virtual means that my overall achievement was above average. So I came to the conclusion that... well, the people who ranked below me were all dumbheads and doofi(plural of doofus).
   Nevermind the virtual result. This was the only test that put forward the observation that my ability and aptitude were both satisfactory, which was contrary to what I'd felt.
   No scholarship, too.
   Then happened the FIITJEE test.

Hello Ophiuchus!

| Posted in , , , , | Posted on 12:12 PM


D'you know the zodiac signs got changed!? What the hell, right? Here be the new dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

 Sadly, according to the new dates, I'm no longer a whiny, moody, sensitive Cancerian. And what the new dates are suggesting is that I've been a curious, adaptive, outgoing or pensive Gemini this whole time! Something's seriously wrong with these people. Anyhow, here's all you need to know about why the new zodiac sign was added and the dates to the rest were changed and everything else, presented as a conversation between a common man, i.e. me, and a wannabe astrologer, i.e. me. 


M: Seriously dude? First you tell us Pluto's no longer a planet and now this!?
A: The earth's axis was wobbling for the past 3,000 years. It's because of precession.
M: What!? WOBBLING!? 
A: If you take a toy top and spin it, it spins around an axis and that axis tends to point in 
   different directions. It moves around. The wobble in the Earth's axis caused by the 
   gravitational attraction of the moon to the Earth's equator is what we call precession.
M: How does that affect things?
A: In Earth's case, right now, Earth's spin axis points towards Polaris, the North Star. But in 
    3000 BC, the Earth's axis pointed towards a different star, Thuban. 
M: So basically, what you're saying is, that all you astrologers are a bunch of screw-ups 
     who've led people to believe things that they in fact, never were?
A: Well, I can't vouch for that all by myself, but I surely will say that the all the 
    constellations have shifted by about a month. And there's a new sign called Ophiuchus.
M:*stares in disbelief* What the hell? A new zodiac? Are you freaking kidding me?
A: This discovery isn't anything new at all. Opiuchus was a constellation that was debated 
    upon to be included in the zodiac. The zodiac allows us astronomers to plot the 
    movement of the sun, but the dates vary. As we identify the sun's location, we can
    tell which constellation it is in. Turns out, The 13th sign is Ophiuchus, where the Sun 
    passes during the first two weeks of December.
M: And people are accepting this!?
A: Well, technically, all eastern astrologers are against it mostly because in Eastern 
    Astrology, one animal represents one calendar year whereas is Western Astrology, the 
    zodiac sign changes monthly. Another way of looking at it is that it affects people born 
    after 2009.
M: So? Does it affect people born only after 2009?
A: Well, can't really say that. Most astrologers say the zodiac signs haven’t changed because
    the axis is irrelevant for the tropical zodiac that Western astrology is read from.
M: Dammit, everybody's confused! What's Opiuchus anyway?
A: The constellation of Ophiuchus is the only sign of the Zodiac which is linked to a real 
    man.The Opiuchus' have a great deal of creativity, imagination and curiosity; Follow 
    their instincts to a fault and can be impulsive; Are not "open books" and can be 
    secretive; Don't fall well into social labels; Procrastinate as a rule; Are sarcastic and have
    a dry sense of humor and tend to only keep useful things, including friends, around.
M: Damn. That's a lot you guys know about a new zodiac sign.  
A: Yeah. We guys know about the twelve other signs as well. You interested?
M: No thanks, dumbass. But if I was led to believe I was a Cancerian for about 15 years, I 
    might've been a Gemini this whole time!?
A: Yeah. Pretty much.
M: I feel violated!!!
A: Uh... sorry man. Curse the Sun, the Moon and the Earth.
M: Goddammit!
Opiuchus, also called the serpent bearer:

If you're interested in knowing more about the Opiuchus' click here.
So. What's your verdict? Do you think the zodiac signs really have changed? Or would you agree with Parke Kunkle?

Random Rhyme: Better

| Posted in , , , , | Posted on 7:11 PM


Schools would be better if there weren't any studies.
Our egos would be better if we could do as we please...
Relationships would be better if there weren't any expectations.
The world's population would be better if no one died of starvation. 
Businesses would be better if everybody could just gain.
And our lives would be better if there wasn't any pain.  

Suck it up.

1st Random Rhyme.

What are Random Rhymes I hear you ask? [No, just kidding. I just want to tell you. :)]
--> Well, they're these small poem-like things that aren't exactly poems. They're not even Fiction-55s; but they rhyme. And to add to that, they're pretty darn random, so... :D

I really had no idea what to name this one, so I just went with 'Better'. :/

One Week Down

| Posted in , , , , , , , , , | Posted on 9:53 PM


   The calendar in my PC tells me it's Wednesday, 12th January, 2011.
   Fuck the fucking calendar, man. It's sad. 2010's gone. 
   2011's a little gone too. One week down. One week four days, to be precise.
   So, good thing our holidays got extended. Or I'd have been studying for my English unit test to be held tomorrow. Which is not happening. Thanks to God and the crazy winters. But losers like me aren't really satisfied ever, so I'm still kinda pissed that they're still starting. I mean.. they should be scraped. Or raped. Or whatever.
    The cold is making me fucking angry. It's so cold I don't feel like getting out of my bed(not that I feel like doing it all of the time, but still). The worst part about the winter season is that my productive output levels decrease drastically. For all I care, I haven't done ANYTHING that is going to be worth something later in life. Not studies anyway, I've been still playing guitar like crazy; and even more so after I found out this tone in my processor that sound EXACTLY like the intro tone in Wolfmother's Joker And The Thief, with the phaser and everything. And I've been discovering new music too. This one friend of mine posted a link to the Mellowdrone song Orange Marmalade on his wall, and damn am I in love with that song. There's another song called DMT that's awesome. Another friend suggested to me the song called The High Road by Broken Bells. It's nice too. There's something awfully haunting about that weird thing that plays in the intro. And then there's the whole soundtrack to Garden State that I'll be listening to in the coming week, not really giving a rat's smelly behind about studies or whatever. But I'm just trying to act all cool and shit. Of course I'd care.
   There's a Science unit on 14th. Then French on 15th. And the VMC test on 16th. And SSt on 17th. All that being said, I'll probably score shit in SSt because there's three whole chapters and not enough time. And a more than adequate dose of laziness.
    Oh, speaking of VMC, did you know they give a goddamned CD loaded with a software that contains test papers with all answers and everything? It greets me beautifully too:

   Twenty one-and-a-half hour each tests. Damn you VMC. [The software's pretty slick though. It is appreciably dig-able.]
   My intellect - if at all there was any - has gone out for a long walk on the streets. It plans to be there for a while. Well, at least till the boards end. Oh you don't know, do you? According to people who keep forwarding me texts, the date sheet of the non-board people is the same as that of the board people. So. That means... March will be a waste. The whole of March.  Here's the CBSE Board Date Sheet for the Xth Grade:

   1st March - French
   5th March - Maths
   7th March - Sanskrit [Which I'm not appearing for thanks to French]
   10th March - SSt
   14th March - Hindi [Which again, I'm not appearing for thanks to French]
   16th March - Foundation of IT [Which is useless now. For me, at least.]
   18th March - English 
   23rd March - Science

   There. The whole of March. Gone.
   And the whole of February gone too. For preparations and shit.
   And half of January's gone too. What the fuck?
   I'm in no mood to race with Time. I don't take part in the races anyway, it's Life that participates. And ironically, Life is running slow as usual; instead of being hand-in-hand with Time. They need to work on their love-hate relationship. Seriously.
   And I need to study Science, Maths, SSt, French and English. Fuck the tenth grade.
   Oh, before I leave - I was listening to Broken Bells' self titled album while typing this. Citizen, Sailing To Nowhere, and Float are good; besides The High Road. Discovering new music is always nice! :)

Time [Fiction 55]

| Posted in , , , | Posted on 8:43 PM


You stare at it too hard,
And it just slips by…
You can’t really freeze it
And nobody knows why...
You don't seem to find it too often,
And yet waste it on the silliest of things...
And yes, it flies.
But you can’t cut its wings.


  8th Fiction 55.
  Wrote it when I had a not-so-enlightening epiphany that time wouldn't wait for me to grow up.
  I'm going to be in the eleventh grade in less than 60 days.

  FYI - This beautiful picture is taken by Nilanjana Bhattacharjee. Check out the rest of her first
  ever photography album here. :)

A Brown, Crinkled Leaf

| Posted in , , , , | Posted on 8:40 PM


[So.. Shreeparna Chatterjee sent me her short story and asked me to write a... MALE perspective to her story. And... I did. :D]

   Part of my quilt was lying on the floor. The part that wasn't, covered all but the upper portion of my back. My drowsy, drooping eyes searched for the digital clock that lay on the side-table beside my bed. The mundane screen read 8:58.
   9 o' clock.

   Tuition time.

* * *
   The van reached on time. As usual. I did too.
   The van took me to the teacher's place by 9:30 sharp. Sometimes, the monotony of the whole situation just got to me. It wasn't one of those days, though. I reached the class, which in fact was our teacher's living room(the one on the ground floor; she lived in the first) re-decorated and re-furnished to resemble a classroom. She never really succeeded in passing it off as a classroom, but she taught and I studied - I guess that accounts for something.
    Around her elliptical table, that could support at most six people, I never sat directly facing her. If that ever happened to be, I’d excuse myself to use her washroom, and while I was gone, one of the more sincere and devout students would invariably come and replace me. I’d done it quite a number of times just to get my seat changed, too. Nerds are awesome.
     Today was different. From the moment I’d stepped in the class in my leather jacket with a messenger’s bag slung over my shoulders, something just didn’t feel right. First of all, our teacher wasn’t there, and why that wasn’t usual was because she’d always portrayed herself to one of those people with principles to whom punctuality was as necessary as regular intake of oxygen. To top that off, I was the only one in class at the moment, and that was unusual because contrary to the nature of my teacher, I was one of those people without principles to whom punctuality was as unnecessary and troublesome as pests were to farms.
     I waited for somebody to come and enlighten me as I took my seat. The nipping cold outside couldn’t be felt as much inside the room, courtesy of the one who was adored more than our teacher herself - the heater. So, I took off my jacket and placed it on my lap, revealing my otherwise hidden checked shirt that I despised. Had I more time on my hands earlier this morning, I’d have chosen for myself something better looking than a plain red-white-and-blue checked shirt. It didn’t matter to me much though. Who cares about getting dressed for tuition anyway?
   Before I could hold on that thought, it left my mind abruptly, as various formulae often tended to.
   After all, she’d stepped in.
   Sometimes, the cheesier version of the usually stingy, bitchy, unbothered, dripping-with-acidic-sarcasm self of mine came out. And she was always the reason. Always.
   When she entered the class, she stood at the door and sighed. She was standing against a background that was lit up by the morning light and caressed by beautiful green trees. The sharp contrast that the scene offered got imprinted on my mind. 
    Her heart shaped face, which had a silent to look to itself, seemed to be magnified by her glasses, the frames of which were dark, shiny black, and her overall appearance seemed to be acknowledged by her barely loud sense of dressing. Her hair was tied in a small little bun behind her head, and on her face and ears fell long, slender bangs. Cute. I started biting my pen in anxiety, because even though I knew I could talk to her normally like a sane person, I knew deep down that I wasn't quite as I appeared to be when I did. I looked at her again, and in her glasses I could see myself, and if I looked harder, maybe even in her eyes. 
    She walked to the table, her motion as smooth and uninterrupted as that of a river, and sat down diagonally towards me. As she took her books out, I passed her a smile that to my dismay went unnoticed. She then proceeded to start solving some random questions from the science book. Random to me at least. I gave her a look that, had it been noticed would've clearly conveyed to her how unappreciative I was of the fact that she had enough sincerity in her to solve questions even in the absence of a teacher. And had she cared enough to look a bit more carefully, she'd have understood that it wasn't just disproval - it was respect.

   As she continued to scribble in her notebook, I noticed something on her left shoulder: A brown, crinkled leaf. I waited patiently for it to fall gently off her shoulder, and when it didn't, I told her that she had something over her shoulder. She turned her head excitedly to where she thought the leaf was, but ended up turning towards the wrong side. I laughed at her innocent stupidity and exclaimed, 'No! The other shoulder!' She noticed the leaf on her other shoulder and brushed it off with an elegant movement of her hand. Before she went back to exercising her brain on random questions, she looked at her watch. Then she realized with a shock that our teacher wasn't in our class yet. She might've noticed the fact that it was just the two of us in the class too, but I couldn't really go that deep into her mind. 
    'I think I should call ma'am,' she said. The tone of her voice when she spoke was mildly suggestive of the fact that she was either stating or asking. But the whimsical idiot in me took it to be a question and said, 'Sure.' I was almost flabbergasted when the words left my mouth - as did she the room - because I was definitely sure it wasn't what I wanted to say. For all I care, 'Sure, go on and end the only few moments that we'll ever share together,' or, 'Yeah, why not, it's getting so lonely without a teacher anyway,' would've been more conducive in proving my point, but I let it be.
    She came back in a jiffy - or that was what it felt like because I was thinking of her all this while - and, looking down at her converse shoes, said, 'Ma'am's not going to take class today'. I sighed. All the energy that I'd lost thinking about nothing and everything(about her) in particular came back to me as soon as she'd uttered those words. Then, I said, 'Well, isn't that a relief?'
    It might've been just me, but I guess I saw her nodding. 
    I took my bag and scurried out of the class. Then, the wee bit of politeness that was still left in me urged me to ask her if she was going to come. So I went back to the door of the class, and saw her arranging her books. As I was almost about to utter something, she bent down and picked up the brown leaf that she'd earlier brushed off. A frown formed on my face. Then, she placed it carefully in her science book. The frown deepened. Fearing she'd see me staring at her and take me for some pervert, I yelled out to her, 'Are you coming along?' 
    'Yeah, I'll be out in a minute,' she replied.
    As I was left to my thoughts in the following moments, I wondered about why she'd done what she'd done. Pondered, rather.
    Did she really put that leaf in her science book? Why? Was it really that... meaningful to her? Or memorable?
    Or was I being obstinate as usual, in thinking that she actually cared about it?
    I looked at her again. She came out of the class. We walked outside together.
    Maybe, just this once, I was right.
    Just this once...
* * * 

Pledges To Self

| Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 10:57 PM


   Well, we all know 2010's done with right? What does that tell you?
   But. Unlike the last few years, I won't act like the dumb bitch I always act like and make resolutions for myself. Point is - I won't make resolutions for myself. I'll take pledges. Pledges and resolutions are different. It's just that to my screwed up head, pledges win over resolutions, because I've always known resolutions to fade away a little too soon.
   So... uh...

  This year, I pledge to myself, that:
  1. I'll study like a nerd. Especially Maths 'cause I'm under the impression that I fucking love it, and I don't know how true or false that may be. Yes, I remember being called a nerd and simultaneously scoring not more than 14/20 in SSt unit tests, but that was only because I just don't really give a rat's smelly ass about SSt. Although I'm gonna admit it fucking hurt when I scored 14/20 on a Maths unit test. DAMMIT! NO LESS THAN 20 FOR ME!!!
  2. I'll be a bitch to those who were a bitch to me, because, as has been brought to my notice by a few of my close ones, I'm just, 'a little too sweet.' So, I'll be an even bigger and brawnier and uglier bitch then I was last year. Gear up, fellow bitches, you're gonna have tough competition this year round. :D
  3. I'll spend more time nurturing my creativity. That's, of course, just a fancier way of saying I'll waste more time and post tons more on my blog and write more songs that nobody'll get to hear. That also means more people will call me 'vella' (read: vain) without realising the fact that I'm using a wee bit of my right and left brain as opposed to their using none.
  4. I'll stick to my no-girlfriend pact. Not because I'm gay. No. If that were the case I'd be out on the streets looking at guys instead of girls which thankfully hasn't happened yet, and by grace of God, never will. The only exception I'll make to this would be when I'm under the illusion that life would just fucking end without having a girlfriend which, given my current understanding of the world and of my life, will never ever happen. I'll date chicks when I'm done with 10+2+3+whatever-no.-of-years-it-takes-to-be-a-big-shot. I guess. Eh. No. I don't know. Whatever, man. Who cares?
  5. I'll socialise more. Not only on Facebook, but in the real world as well. It's important to talk to people and get to know their perspective of things. It's also very important to know what people think about me... you know, who hate me, who love me, who don't give a shit about me...
  6. I'll write loads of more hilarious jokes like the one right above. Hahahahahahahahahaha. You think I give a rat's ass about socialising or about what others think about me? Well of course, sometimes it really does matter. But otherwise, they're just tons of haters out there who won't love me even if I'm ready to sacrifice my life for them. They'll just think I'm a cheesy bitch. I wouldn't really blame them too - I'm not one to say such bullshit anyway. :D
  7. I'll abstain from alcohol and other bullshit like I did last year. It's a matter of personal preference. I don't give an untaken shit about how you choose to look at me because I don't drink or smoke or do drugs. Screw you bitches. I don't care. Period. Why am I getting serious? Well, I'm usually all for fun and games and silly jokes but when it comes to this sort of stuff, I'm dead serious. Yeah. Pretty much. :)
  8. I'll think more about what I should do this year and type it out sometime later. 'Cause I sure as fuck am not done with my pledges list. XD!!! [I also need to stop abusing the word 'fuck'. Geddit? Abuse the word fuck. Haha!!!]

(as of now!):D