Hello Ophiuchus!

| Posted in , , , , | Posted on 12:12 PM

D'you know the zodiac signs got changed!? What the hell, right? Here be the new dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

 Sadly, according to the new dates, I'm no longer a whiny, moody, sensitive Cancerian. And what the new dates are suggesting is that I've been a curious, adaptive, outgoing or pensive Gemini this whole time! Something's seriously wrong with these people. Anyhow, here's all you need to know about why the new zodiac sign was added and the dates to the rest were changed and everything else, presented as a conversation between a common man, i.e. me, and a wannabe astrologer, i.e. me. 

X-x-X

M: Seriously dude? First you tell us Pluto's no longer a planet and now this!?
A: The earth's axis was wobbling for the past 3,000 years. It's because of precession.
M: What!? WOBBLING!? 
A: If you take a toy top and spin it, it spins around an axis and that axis tends to point in 
   different directions. It moves around. The wobble in the Earth's axis caused by the 
   gravitational attraction of the moon to the Earth's equator is what we call precession.
M: How does that affect things?
A: In Earth's case, right now, Earth's spin axis points towards Polaris, the North Star. But in 
    3000 BC, the Earth's axis pointed towards a different star, Thuban. 
M: So basically, what you're saying is, that all you astrologers are a bunch of screw-ups 
     who've led people to believe things that they in fact, never were?
A: Well, I can't vouch for that all by myself, but I surely will say that the all the 
    constellations have shifted by about a month. And there's a new sign called Ophiuchus.
M:*stares in disbelief* What the hell? A new zodiac? Are you freaking kidding me?
A: This discovery isn't anything new at all. Opiuchus was a constellation that was debated 
    upon to be included in the zodiac. The zodiac allows us astronomers to plot the 
    movement of the sun, but the dates vary. As we identify the sun's location, we can
    tell which constellation it is in. Turns out, The 13th sign is Ophiuchus, where the Sun 
    passes during the first two weeks of December.
M: And people are accepting this!?
A: Well, technically, all eastern astrologers are against it mostly because in Eastern 
    Astrology, one animal represents one calendar year whereas is Western Astrology, the 
    zodiac sign changes monthly. Another way of looking at it is that it affects people born 
    after 2009.
M: So? Does it affect people born only after 2009?
A: Well, can't really say that. Most astrologers say the zodiac signs haven’t changed because
    the axis is irrelevant for the tropical zodiac that Western astrology is read from.
M: Dammit, everybody's confused! What's Opiuchus anyway?
A: The constellation of Ophiuchus is the only sign of the Zodiac which is linked to a real 
    man.The Opiuchus' have a great deal of creativity, imagination and curiosity; Follow 
    their instincts to a fault and can be impulsive; Are not "open books" and can be 
    secretive; Don't fall well into social labels; Procrastinate as a rule; Are sarcastic and have
    a dry sense of humor and tend to only keep useful things, including friends, around.
M: Damn. That's a lot you guys know about a new zodiac sign.  
A: Yeah. We guys know about the twelve other signs as well. You interested?
M: No thanks, dumbass. But if I was led to believe I was a Cancerian for about 15 years, I 
    might've been a Gemini this whole time!?
A: Yeah. Pretty much.
M: I feel violated!!!
A: Uh... sorry man. Curse the Sun, the Moon and the Earth.
M: Goddammit!
 X-x-X
Opiuchus, also called the serpent bearer:


If you're interested in knowing more about the Opiuchus' click here.
So. What's your verdict? Do you think the zodiac signs really have changed? Or would you agree with Parke Kunkle?

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