It's been over a goddamned month and I haven't had the time to write. Screw you Xth Grade! You're making me sad, and angry, and dejected, and pissed - all at the same time. I didn't even know I could feel all of that at one time. It sucks. It' a downward spiral - and goddammit I don't care if the circles are concentric!

It's literally impossible for me to be paying attention in class all the time. Why should I anyway? Geography? Should I fucking care if the winds are blowing from south to north or east to west? Should I care if there's bhangar nodules in black alluvial soil? I'm sorry, I have tried. And I have failed - repeatedly. Over and over again.

My parents keep telling me not to waste this time, these years. They say it can either make you or break you. I say I've been broken way before all of it even started. But that doesn't matter - I'll sacrifice a little. After all, if you don't make sacrifices, you'll never be a true man. Not to me atleast. All this stuff about being an engineer and studying science and scoring marks and doing this and doing that is eventually gonna make me crazy. They're gonna have to move me. The men in white coats will take me away.

And, my guitar. It just lies there - the dust feeding on it, on it's strings. Nobody can see it, but I do. It cries, wanting to be held, to be felt. And I? I drown myself in my books.