Sonnet XII

| Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 8:44 PM

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Sonnet XII

I would say this to you if my tongue would speak
The words I will it to: you are growing
More and more beautiful as time is flowing
Away. All its mere essences now reek
In quiet corners, unaware; it is bleak
In front of you, for you are not showing
Any resistance to its crude bestowing—
That brings dust to wind and the soul to eek.
But what would these ugly winds of age do
To you, whose beauty is secured, in part
Somewhere concealed, in part somewhere so true
That it needs no hiding for itself, for who
Is it that dares questions raise? It is your heart
Of course which all beauty holds (and your eyes too).


  X-x-X











My Passive Love Forlorn

| Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 12:48 PM

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My Passive Love Forlorn


My passive love forlorn
Is by the borders strewn,
And so the wind gale’s charm,
Has been long away gone.

Now no more does her arm
Reach out to make me warm,
Nor now does she hold fears
Of what may bring me harm.

And her voice not in my ears
Rings; her face appears
Never in front of me.
My heart now only sears:

We're both alone though we,
May not truly happy be.  

X-x-X

Hello, people. I wrote this while revising Chemistry for my pre-pre-Board exam on Monday. I don't want to talk about Chemistry, so I'll just write something about the poem.
  It's my interpretation of the sonnet form, although instead of the popular iambic pentameter, this one's written trimeter. I chose trimeter because I wanted short lines (longer lines would demand more time), and because... well, I don't know, I felt like it.
  The rhyme scheme (aababbcbccdcdd) is loosely inspired by the Spenserian form of the sonnet, as in the quatrains are connected by a common rhyme that carries throughout the poem and is followed by a couplet. I went without another rhyme there ('dd' instead of 'ee') which was somewhat, in part, both like the Onegin and the Petrarchan form of the sonnet, as the last six lines form a sestet. 
   Now, as with most Spenserian sonnets, there is no problem corroborated in the first two quatrains and hence there is no soultion in the third and no conclusion in the ending couplet. This is just a sad poem, with no metaphors (as you'd find in Shakespeare's sonnets) and no volta (as you'd find in pretty much every other form of the sonnet).
   Finally, in terms of variations, lines 9 and 14 have weak endings (also called feminine or amphibrachic endings). Line 9 is enjambed into line 10, as is line 13 into 14. I have not particularly paid attention to all inverted foots, although in crude estimation, the second quatrain has a few of them (line 5 and line 6 begin with an inverted trochaic foot). Line 9 also has begins with an inverted foot; line 12 ends with an inverted foot. 

So there. Yes, I want to study English. Proper English, not what CBSE passes for as literature. I want people to understand that there's a lot more to poetry than just words. Poetry is not just big phrases and big words and big feelings - it is also very intricate, very subtle, and can be very tough to interpret. Keep these things in mind the next time you read a poem. And for the love of God, DON'T EVER tell me to write poems as stress busters. I mean, I fucking get it that I'm supposed to study and that I can get stressed but that in NO WAY implies that I should not be dedicated to what I'm doing.
   I love poetry. I don't write poetry to get chicks. I don't write it so that people look at me and go, 'He's a poet!' and I certainly don't write it for people who have no respect for it. It unnerves me to think what art has reduced to these days - stress busters. I don't really give a fuck if people understand me or what I'm writing, most of them think I'm a PSEUDO (special emphasis on the word because it sounds 'fancy') because I always talk poetically and I use expressions and metaphors that fly over their fucking heads like airplanes flying at over 35 thousand feet. The reason I use metaphors and similes while talking is because I use them all the time when I'm writing poetry and I'm subliminally writing poetry ALL THE TIME.
   In the past few months I have almost doubled the amount of poetry I wrote in the last two years. I don't even give a shit about posting it on my blog because what most people want to read is something easy: one of my friends even said, 'In today's stressful times, there's not much point of poetry you can't understand.' And he said that for Keats. I'm thankful that guy's dead... I mean Keats. He shouldn't have had to hear shit like that.
   So there, stressed people in a stressful world leading stressful lives: I do not care if you read poetry. I do not care if you understand it, I do not care if you interpret it wrongly. I do not care if you think I suck balls at it, and if I really do, I'll improve because I'll work at it without looking at it as a tool to relieve stress. Because I love poetry. I love reading it and I love writing it.
   All that being said... wait.


   BUAAAGGGHHHH!!!


   Sorry for the rant. You have no idea how nauseating it is to be with people who think I do it just for the fuck of doing it. It's weird, okay? REALLY weird. It's like guitarists can post pictures of themselves kissing their guitars with a caption that reads worse than a 5th Grade grammar exercise (and get a gazillion likes), and you're telling me I'm pseudo because I don't write like that? Because I don't post links to my blog on my facebook page and because I don't get a 100 likes? What horseshit.
   This has been doing a number on me for as long as I can remember. It's irritating to be around people like these. I've been way too distracted writing poetry, man. And why does this stress-buster thing crop up from time to time? Where would Shakespeare be if he wrote only to release stress? I'd rather be a delinquent of this age, I don't mind.
   What shit. I still have like 12 chapters to revise in 3 days. Goddammit. 
   But fuck it. I love poetry. I love it.

   AND!

   If you love it too, you will read this poem by Nizar Kabbani, called 'A Man who Transforms you into Poetry'. I have found it to be one of the few amazing ones I've read recently, although its deceptively simple. I'll also take this time to dedicate this to girl I had a crush on once, and consequently transformed into poetry. 
   Don't take any offence regarding the statements I made about understanding poetry if you did, because it's usually the shallow ones that don't get any sort of poetry, irrespective of whether it's tough or easy.
   I hope you like this. Read it here. :)


   Holy Sweet Jesus. 
   Chemistry, here I come.

Diamonds and Rust

| Posted in | Posted on 12:13 AM

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'We both know what memories can bringthey bring diamonds and rust.'                                                      Joan Baez, Diamonds and Rust
Quick update:
It's 12.06. Outside, it's raining; I can hear a medley of raindrops falling both softly and loudly on the street, as well as the lightning and thunder that sporadically accompany them. I have a Physics class tomorrow at either 7 or 9(there's an option). For most of my weekend classes I've preferred to attend the 7 o' clock class(don't ask why), but for tomorrow I'm thinking I'll attend the 9 o' clock class. Meh.
The rain stopped outside.
I have a Chemistry exam on 17th. I have studied only 2 chapters or so, out of a total 10. I don't feel like studying. I told a friend of mine recently that I was finding it harder to study as the days passed, too. Hmm.
The quote at the beginning of this post is from a song by Joan Baez, called Diamonds and Rust. I wanted to share it, though for no specific reason whatsoever. Go listen to it if you can.
So, yeah.
Pretty sucky this side.
I'll update when I'm feeling sane. Though no promises. None of poetry or fiction either, though I've written a lot these past few weeks—not exactly for public consumption, you see. No don't worry, not all of those are letters to ex-girlfriends; there is poetry too, though of a different kind. I've sent it to a few friends, I hope they like it.


It's raining again.


Anyway,
Kudos, yo.

Arrested Advent

| Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 1:12 AM

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Fret not, oh dearie,
It may seem I entail a heinous crime,
But I'll be back within a moment's time:
In a blink, and a breath
I will appear in front of your sullen eyes
And save you from your sweet demise.
But if I do not emerge,
Lax your fingers and then count the stars
That lay hidden in the morning hours:
They will keep you,
As I swim across the raging, swirling seas,
That my talent and my daunting tease,
Finding my way back
To you - your heart, your sullen eyes
Warmer than a bright sunrise.
But rest assured,
We'll be together again, in time, as one
And bask beneath the golden sun;
I'll be back soon,
In a dormant breath, a blinked eye -
Love, I'll return within a sigh.

X-x-X

What's up, folks? How's it rolling? 12th Grade is fucking nuts; I'm dead inside and outside. Well, almost. Pardon me for my insolence.

 This poem is a special one-off only dedication to my blog, because I've been neglecting it like crazy for the past few months. And probably will continue to for the next half of this year too. No kidding.

But we'll kiss and make up, don't worry.



Ciao.


Cheese, Corn, Nausea - Tales of Growing Up

| Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 12:33 PM

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I don't have any incentive for a personal post, or a poem or a fiction post. But I want to post something, even though I really don't see the point of posting [this]. Anyhoo, read on.

~

I have the sensitivity of a 5 year old (it says so in the About Me section of my blog too, I believe). In some cases I’m much worse than your average overprotective mother or your above-average clingy girlfriend, with terrible space problems and an even more terrible combination of being both equally cheesy as well as corny. But I’ve been working on it constantly, and I have improved drastically – not that you’d notice though, it’s a more internal sort of change – over the years, also because I had a girlfriend exactly like the one just described, which only made me realize how nauseating I could possibly be. It could also be because I’m a Cancerian (my girlfriend was one too), but this possibility I’ve eliminated, and I’ll get to why in just a moment.

I have to go out of my way here and digress a bit, to thank the few friends that helped me a lot; it wasn’t exactly about being cheesy or anything, though (because they kind of like it) - it’s slightly more personal than that. So yeah, without going down to the intricacies of it, I’d just like to say thank you, Kaali Maa and Her Ogre. You guys have been awesome. (Don’t worry, it’s an inside joke) {Note to reader: These people are Cancerian too, hence the elimination of said possibility in the preceding paragraph}.

So. Yeah. Where was I?

Ah. Sensitivity. I don’t believe I’ve ever told this to anyone (or so I think) – so I’ll include a Big Blogger Revelations tag down in the post tags – but I’ve always been the kind of guy who had only one friend. So whenever my friends would talk to their other friends, I’d get all crazy and everything. That’s probably because till the eighth grade I was a loner – the only people I spoke to were my then girlfriend (not the cancerian), her only female friend, and my only male best friend. So such a situation never did arise when my friends just drifted away and hung out with their other friends; it was creepy, yes, stop moaning about it already. I didn’t speak to people who didn’t speak with me, and after they were done speaking, I’d make no more attempts at continuing the conversation. That’s how I was.

From a situation like that, in the eleventh grade, I actually reached a stage where I had a whole group of friends, and that group sort of merged with more groups, so I wasn’t really a loner anymore (technically). So, the whole space issue thing has been resolved successfully by now. I remember a time when a friend texted me:

It’s not your fault - what if I don’t like your whiny ways?
I have to deal with it, no?

What I really wanted to text at that time, but didn’t, for reasons I can’t remember now, was:

No shit! I don’t like my whiny ways either!

So yeah. I got rid of my whiny ways and I’m proud of that – and I didn’t do it because I wanted a friend to stick around, I did it because I wanted to. I don’t change myself for others. [Renee, Oshmita -reading this? {And again, don’t worry – this one’s on the inside too}].

So, every once in a while, when it’s so bloody apparent that a friend of mine chooses somebody else over me – I let it go. Because hey, I need to get off their ass, too right? And they’re always there for me when I need them, so as long as I’m there for them, it doesn’t really matter who they look to, does it? What matters is that they’re happy, no? True that, bro. *Schizophrenic Hi5!*

X-x-X

Did you expect anything better? Be honest. 
Anyway, I'm still cheesy as shit when it comes to writing, if I want to be, that is. Wait till I fire up my next love story. *evil glare*


So, uh. Yeah.

| Posted in , | Posted on 2:01 PM

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It's been a while since I've posted, right? Feels so weird going on Blogger and clicking on the New Post button after so long. But the good thing is that I'm still managing somehow. It's been about a month into 12th Grade - yes, our extra classes started about a month back - and I'm fried. It's so bloody tiring. I'm thankful to God there's only one year of this hellish cycle of classes, tests and more classes and more tests. I won't be dishonest enough to say I don't want this year to end as soon as possible - but then that would mark the beginning of a whole bunch of more things, so might as well enjoy this year while I still can.

I've been in a weird mood lately: part delirious, part focused, part bummed. I've got a slew of unwritten poems hovering in my head, a collection of short stories that I haven't had the time to write down and a whole bunch of songs that I haven't completed writing entirely. Ever since I got an acoustic guitar (more on that, later) I've written about 10 or 12 songs, with lyrics and everything; some of them are instrumentals, too. But I don't have a decent quality mike so I can't even record them into my PC, which sad as it sounds, is no good for a workstation. Sigh. I've also started working on a short story which, 2 out of 5 people will die after reading and the other 3 will die while reading. But fuck it, I'm still going to write it. Because I'm a boss. *insert cool-shades smiley*

Anyway, I basically wrote this post to announce (who's listening?) that I'll be posting a whole lot of rants under the title Rant-a-thon. Or maybe Rantathon, I don't really like all those dashes. Those rants will actually not be much of rants, they'll be an organised, sane collection of thoughts but on various topics at the same time and hence they eventually will live up to what I'm going to call them anyway, 'Rants!'. They'll cover a whole range of topics from dating, girls, women (wait, they're all the same), memes, politicians (lololol, i'mma be trollin) getting friendzoned (a friend reminded me recently that I'd gotten friendzoned too), 5 hour long classes, bad physics teachers, great chemistry teachers, sad guitarists, happy guitarists, my favorite guitar technique - vibrato, my favorite guitar(s), spectacles, teenagers who're in love, were in love, will be in love or just like masturbating, puns, cold coffee, space issues, misunderstandings, pinched harmonics, letting go, saying no, saying yes, procrastination, contemplation, being in a band and whatnot. And the best thing is - it's going to be random! You'll never know what you're going to get with what. So, yeah. Makes sense? It will, chill.[And oh, it's going to be numbered too, just in case I lose count]

And. I've learnt a lot of songs on the guitar lately, on of my favorites among which is Stevie Ray Vaughn's Pride And Joy. It's awesome, the bluesy rhythm playing and everything, plus the solos are a bonus, and oddly enough, for a  blues song, it's got great lyrics. I also heard this song by Herbie Hancock that featured John Mayer on the radio recently, it's called Stitched Up, and it's from the album called Possibilities. I loved it, it's got this whole awesome jazz groove and everything, and Herbie's piano playing is awesome as usual, as are John Mayer's vocals and Steve Jordan's drumming. I need to know who the bassist is, dammit. 

What's up with the weather in Delhi, man? Sunny now, raining the next moment and then freaking sunny again! It's almost like it's having moodswings or something. But still, it's kind of fun. And considering I have another class starting in about half an hour, I really think I should revise what I learnt in the last class or something. But yeah, Chemistry's gotten a lot more interesting, I have to say (more on that later, as well - check in the rants). Have a fun weekend, people. I ditched school so I could sleep. *insert happy smiley*

So, uh. Yeah.

\m/ (-_-) \m/

Your Best Listener

| Posted in , | Posted on 6:18 PM

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Your happiness, your sorrow,
 your today, your tomorrow;
keep your worries on the side-table
and tell me all.

What you won, what you lost,
what had hurt, what it'd cost;
I'm here to listen,
at your every beck and call.

I will be your best listener;
today, tomorrow, forever. 
Just remember, before you leave,
to leave the cheque on my desk.



X-x-X

Love, Love, Love

| Posted in , , , , | Posted on 3:42 PM

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 'Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.' - Andy Warhol

 That's what one of my friends seems to think about 'love'. And because she wants to know what I think about it, here's a post dedicated to her very recent facebook status. And I'll take it one sentence at a time.

 How would people describe fantasy love? More importantly, how would people go about describing love? I always thought 'love' and 'reality love' were vaguely synonymous, I guess I was wrong. Because for whatever reason, I'd always associated fantasy love with... you know... is it really that hard to come up with?

 Now, because I'm a writer, I know exactly what 'fantasy love' is. I mean, for me, I know, it entails going intensely visual on every little thing that could mean or constitute love, which could range from literally anything to just holding hands and walking to full-blown love making in bathtubs, washrooms, classrooms or against walls (read: BlackCurrant). But mostly, all of that aside, fantasy love is what all fantasies are - a mere fantasy. Now it is beyond me why people would pin their hopes on something that's only a fantasy, but hey - it's their choice, I'm no one to say.

 Never doing it is exciting. How? I could somehow vaguely grasp the concept in terms of 'love' per se, but how could not doing something be exciting? If it's an ongoing tease - and in this case, it'll be an endless and a perpetual one - then only would 'not doing something' be exciting. Now going into entirely abstract and certainly refutable examples, if I'm a guitarist (and I am one) and I really want to play a solo to say, a certain song - how would it be exciting for me if I never even do so much as pick up my guitar?

 The most exciting attractions, ah. Yes, now this I have to agree with. The reason the attractions are most exciting between two people that never meet is because they'll always be wondering what would happen if they did. In a more general case though, this would be untrue. It has to be, because it's not like two opposites that never meet will be two opposites that want to meet.

 All of this is bullshit, I say, because the only reason people would want to believe in fantasy love is because they're just too afraid of real love. Now, Andy Warhol was an artist - a great one - and the thing with most artists is, well, they're crazy. But I'm an artist too (yes, I said it) and so I can somewhat understand what he was trying to convey when he said that. He believed in fantasy love because it helped him with his art. You could read his wikipedia entry, but there's no mention of fantasy love though. And to a certain extent, I believe in it too.

 Why? Because I'm an artist. I'm a writer, and anything that could happen and eventually does not makes my writing only better - because it forces me to break out of the box and think; come up with twenty possibilities to a situation that, had I actually lived through would know only one outcome of. It makes thinking fun, and writing even more fun

 But. There is no way on Earth I'd choose fantasy love over reality love. I'm not scared of 'getting my heart broken' or the various other clichés that hold people back from opening up to people they might eventually fall in love with. Sure, I've had my own share of failures and successes in this regard (the former more than the latter) but that doesn't mean I give up on love altogether, the reality love I mean. Because at the end of the day, if it's fantasy love - even if you're the most ignorant of people alive, you'll know it's only that, a fantasy. But reality love, even though it's infinitely more of a bitch than fantasy love, will at least be real. So, if you really can convince yourself to believe in fantasy love - go ahead. [I dealt with this in a short story, I think - Between Fantasy And Reality, Part I and Part II; a third part's in order.]

 So, to sum up all of that in one sentence - Saying fantasy love is better than reality love is like saying masturbating is better than having sex (pardon the linear analogy). 

 Andy Warhol believed in fantasy love. What do you believe in? 

X-x-X


Now you know what Lenny Kravitz believes in! ^_^

Things Better Left Unsaid

| Posted in | Posted on 12:40 AM

2

BEFORE YOU READ THIS - Know that this is a joke. And that I have nothing better to do at night and I can't sleep because I was studying till a while back and now that I'm not studying, my eyes refuse to go into REM mode. Kudos. 

About 2 hours back, I set my facebook status to, 'There are some things better left unsaid, but be assured I'll say them anyway.'

And then two of my friends started arguing (nay, debating) about whether I should actually do that or not, one of them speaking for the motion, one of them against. Now on most days I'd have sided with one of them, certainly the one speaking for the motion, and would've told the other friend something about something else that would link to something else and make 'em realize something else altogether. But I wasn't in a mood to do that, you see. I wasn't in a serious mood when I wrote that status...

I didn't write the status with all of the 'I think I love but I'm not sure whether to tell you because you've become an increasingly great friend and I don't want to ruin everything but I'm pretty sure you already know' kind of thing. I chose to put it up because I had tons of other things going on in my mind which incidentally had nothing to do with anything my friends were arguing about.

For example, when you walk into a... say, a movie hall. And you're a guy. And you see a very attractive girl (read: super hottie with huuuuuuuugge lady-parts, the front-ends) and if she turns out to be a friend of the friend you're going to watch the movie with, after saying 'Hi' do you follow it up with, 'Man, I'd just rather watch those than the movie'? Now see, THAT is an example of something that is better left unsaid, even though everybody's feeling like that, or has thought that before. Well, at least all the guys.

Or when you're a salesman or something at a guitar store and some random kids come up to you and ask you the prices for various guitars and ask if they can play, what do you do? You say, 'Yeah, go on ahead, I'll plug it in for you.' You don't go, 'Bitch please, you can't play this because you sure as heck aren't going to buy this and I'm the one who has to change the strings,' right? Because that's something better left unsaid, even though the amateur guitarist and the string-changer both know that the kid ain't gonna be be back.

Or it could be when your talking to an acquaintance and you suddenly feel the need to go, 'Hey, man, can you just please shut up? I know you're only talking to me because I can get your work done. So please, let's not continue making small talk, yeah? It's kind of saddening.' But you do NOT do that, do you? THAT was what I had in mind when I said I'll say things that are better left unsaid. Not the whole... you know, awkard-weird-friendship-love hormonal bullcrap. It was just a JOKE. And I was always known to be KIDDING. Or that's what I hoped. But hey, it's cool. 8)

Now I can cite at least a dozen more of these examples that could happen anywhere from a courtroom to a grocery store, but I'll go with this one, because I know a great deal more are going to relate to this... 3:)

When you send a girl a friend request - again, presuming you're a guy - do you send an additional message that reads: 'Hey, I just saw you at this friend's party and I though you were hot so I just wanted to browse through your pictures! Thanks. :)' ?

You don't, do you? Well that's just it, man. Things better left unsaid. There's no godforsaken need to intellectualize every goddamn thing on this planet. Chill on it, yo. And I'm sorry for the chauvinistic instances there, but hey - guys have a heck lot more of what's called 'hormonal imbalance' and that is a fact, and even if girls do, just by chance, they're never going to admit it, so...

Hahahahaha. You see that? THAT was something that I could've lived without saying. So yeah, guess I'm already doing the needless and the needful. Awesome.

Cyaaaaaoo.

^That's how one of my friends said bye to me today, on facebook chat. I just found it ridiculously funny so I did it too. Again...

Cyaaaaaoo!!!

More updates on how academically screwed up I am later. 8)
X-x-X


P.S. You really believe there are things better left unsaid? I do not, just that I didn't have better things to think of. (^___________^)

 




One O' Clock's a Good Time to Play Blues

| Posted in , , , , | Posted on 1:56 AM

1

Yep. I said it. Go screw the world; one o clock's a good time to play blues.

I don't care about my Physics exam day after tomorrow, because hey - nothing's higher on my list of priorities than playing blues. Writing, maybe, but that's the only allowed exception. This feeling is weird now, tapping away at the keys of my keyboard. I hadn't done this in a while, but now that I've started doing it again it feels awesome. Like a drug, yeah. 'I used to do a little, but a little wouldn't do and so a little got more and more.' [Gn'R, Mr. Brownstone]

In an interview, Jack White described Blues as essentially being sad people singing sad songs. I'd rephrase that and say that Blues is in essence, awesome people singing awesome songs. Yes. True story, bro; Blues was the 'Emo' in past days.

I love blues songs, man. 12 bars, 3 chords, and lyrics 2nd graders could write with their eyes closed. THAT freaking easy. And how awesome are they to play? GODAWESOME.  MAAAAAAAAAYUNNN. I want my bandmates to be free so I can ask 'em to play this stuff with me. This is just crazy. Nothing makes me more ecstatic than the mention of blues. I wish more people listened to stuff like that, all they listen to these days is music they can bang their heads to and can't make sense out of; whatever happened to times when repeated verses of, 'She left me, my baby! She left me all alone' were all people sang? Dammit, I should've been born in a different era. I've been jamming to backing tracks on youtube for a while too, 'cause my bandmates aren't really free to jam now. (Yeah, physics, I know; sucky shit)

Anywaaaaay.

This song, you must check out.

4 guitarists, 3 chords, 2 singers, 1 GODAWESOME song.

And it's about sex. 

Yes, it's in boldface because I want people to know you don't always have to be crude as shit when it comes to writing songs about making love like rappers do these days. You can be graceful. Or well, if not, you could at least be funny. Like BB King, Buddy Guy, Eric Clapton and Jimmy Vaughn. Damn, these people are awesome.

Rock Me Baby!



Listen to more blues, you pups, it's awesome. Like TOTALLY awesome. And the funny thing is - there are SO many goddamn songs with the same chord progressions, but that doesn't really stop people from writing more songs with the same chord progressions. ^_^

P.S. I'd kill for any one of those guitars, mostly the Clapton Strat or BB King's Lucille. Dig the other two guitars too, Buddy Guy's has got a great tone. And Jimmy's guitar is sweet too, 'cause I dig Maple fretboards. Awesomeness, this. Wish it were longer.


Anyhoooo.

Tadah.
Got tons to write about, I have. I shall, as soon as my exams get over, but mostly Physics, Chem and Maths. English and Physical, I'll deal with easily. That being said, the next week is going to be hard as shit.

Ciao.

X-x-X